Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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