I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
