i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
