i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Redeem this text for a blowjob
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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