Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Boobs are out for the taking
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
