Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We're too hungover to prance.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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