In the future we'll all be gay
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
