Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
