I need help removing her.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
