we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
