Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
