Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
