I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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