I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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