He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was like eating out sand paper
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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