he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
