At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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