my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
