I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
