The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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