Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
