Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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