Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
