Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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