I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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