Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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