So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
