I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The adults are the big ones right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
