they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
