Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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