We're like a lot better than the average bears
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
