Im at strip club and am horny
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
