i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
