Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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