what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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