She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
