I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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