Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
