I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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