woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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