I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
