i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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