it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
