Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
