I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
