At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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