Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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