Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
