Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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