Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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