Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
