Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
